Wondering How Long

As I sat there on the curb at lunch today I had one of those wondering moments. I was wondering how long would I have to wait before God moved me into what is considered full time ministry (if you are a follower of Christ you are in full time ministry). I sat there painfully aware of the damaged nerves in my back from a quad accident a few years ago. I was also aware of the invisible ice-picks being jabbed into my knees. My shoulders (both of which were dislocated when I had the quad accident) were screaming at me for carrying the backpack blower for 3 hours solid. All I could think about in that moment was "How long do I have to endure this Lord before You provide the means for me to be a full time Pastor? This sucks Lord. I hurt all the time. I don't have the time I want to invest in these students you have placed in my care. I want to be able to go have lunch with them at school. To spend time with them outside of the church setting. I want to be able to study for more than a few minutes a day." And so on and so on. 

You know how you can talk to someone and when they don't respond there is that dead silence that's almost awkward. Yeah that feeling, that didn't happen. 

My mind was taken to David. David spent years tending stinky sheep in the wilderness. He fought bears and lions to keep the sheep safe. That prepared him to fight Goliath. Before he could fight Goliath he HAD to spend years going unnoticed in a field somewhere. Then it went to the fact that David was anointed king over Israel when he was about 13 years old. He wasn't appointed king over Israel until he was 30. He had to wait 17 years before he was appointed to the position that God anointed him for.

Now my mind moves to Abraham. God promises Abraham that he will be the father of a great nation. That he will give him a son. Abraham's like cool, I've always wanted a son. Well Abraham was about 75 years old when God promises this. Abraham and Sarah wait 25 years for the promised son. 25 years. Then they have Isaac after waiting 25 years. Let me reiterate, 25 years. Abraham was 100 years old when they had Isaac. Then when Isaac was older God asks Abraham to sacrifice this promised son, the son that God swore to grow into a great nation. He asks him to offer him up as a burnt offering. Abraham is about to and God stops him and provides another offering in its place.

So now I have switched gears. I start thinking about all the biblical saints that had to wait a really long time before they could fulfill their purpose. Jesus waited till He was 30 to start His earthly ministry.

Then I hear in my spirit "you have to wait till the sifting is over. once this sifting is over you will move to the next place I have for you". For those of you that don't know, sifting refers to the separating of grain. When you sift grain you beat it and sift it till the chaff separates from the kernel. The kernel is what you are after. Its what has value and purpose. The chaff is almost useless. Looks kinda cool when the wind catches it and it blows away. 

So I stop and take inventory on being whats called bi-vocational has taught me. 

• To work with excellence at whatever I do. This one is important because anything worth doing is worth doing well. The reason being is all of life is worship. Do I want to worship God in a flippant sorta way, no I want to worship Him with every fiber of my being so that means I have to put that into everything I do. This is one that I also struggle with. I don't always put my whole heart into some of my projects, they still come out great and people think they are awesome but I know that I could have done better.
• To use my time wisely. I don't have a lot of spare time so I try and make the most of every moment. Make every single one count. Again I don't always do this but I try to. I try to make sure that when that teachable moment pops up I'm all over it like white on rice in a glass of milk on a paper plate in a snow storm(Major Payne ref.).
• To pray like I breathe. Prayer for the Christian is like oxygen to the body. We really really REALLY need it. While I'm working, nine times out ten I'm also praying. While I'm in conversation I'm praying. I pray a lot and that's a discipline that I know I would not have if it weren't for how hard my job can be some times.

There's more but that's all I'm going to list for now. I'll probably do a post on that topic later. 

Anyways, I know I will have to wait for that ministry position but I am okay with that. I am thankful to have a job right now with a boss that is truly a caring individual. When he asks how are you, he really means it. I have an amazing wife that helps me prioritize things and keeps me on track when I get distracted. I have two wonderful girls that remind me not to be too serious and sometimes you just need to hold hands and skip through Home Depot together. I have a son that plays WoW with me on Saturday nights. I have friends that care about me and will be there when I need them. Most of all I have a God that loves me and wants me. He says I have value and purpose. Before time began He thought about me and wanted to have a relationship with me.

That's true of you too. Before the world was created Jesus loved you and wanted to have a relationship with you. Its easy to have that relationship too. Just believe He is who He says He is. Believe that by dying on a cross and raising from the dead He paid that price for your screw-ups. Its that simple and when you do that its a done deal. No take backs. You are forever forgiven.

Its awesome how everything comes back to Jesus. Even aching knees.